Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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