normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
