I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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