so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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