She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
