and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
