I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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