I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i think my cat just said my name.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
