: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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