We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
