I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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