Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
