Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
