I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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