Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
