I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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