tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
