The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
