I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
