Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
