how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
