just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
