As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
