I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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