We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
