Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
