please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
