I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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