Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
