We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
