I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
