we're blogging at a bar
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
