I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
