Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
