The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
