Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
