Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
