I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
