so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
