thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
