The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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