I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
