it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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