did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
