You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
