I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I want to fling myself into the sun
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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