hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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