She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
