one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
