she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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