I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
